It was an unfortunate week for the Portland Timbers to be featured in a demo of the MLS app on the Apple watch. I love it when my worlds collide, (I’m a long, long time Apple user) but not in this case. The FC Dallas/Timbers scoreline appears shortly after the 28 minute mark in the September 7, 2016 Apple Event. A friend of mine from Portland moved to California a year or so ago to work for Apple in their marketing department, so maybe he set this up in advance, anticipating a better result.
This is the first time I’ve seen Timbers (or any) Topps MLS trading cards in a local Target. In years past I’ve always had to order them online. This things are printed early on, but here are fewer missing notables than last year’s set. I think that came with a couple rookie cards featuring guys that never saw first team minutes. Ben Polk is the only guy who hasn’t seen first team minutes this yea. Unfortunately, Borchers is out for the season, possibly his career, but it was nice to see him get a card. Then there’s the Adam Kwarasey card. I would have liked to see him get the chance to say goodbye to the the home crowd before we shipped him off. The title of this post refers to the inadvertent phrasing of the price marking on the point of sale… There is one extra special card that is Excell Ent, even “Excellent.”
There’a a lot of awkward shots in this MLS produced video with host Andrea Feczko. It’s very reminiscent of an online dating site or adult chat line, and just feels really forced. Also strange that they waited until now to release this footage which washout in advance of our season opener. Ah… good times right? Remember when the future was full of the expectation of dominating the season?
(Warning: The preroll commercial will will play loudly with volume control disabled. I wish MLS would discontinue this poor netizen behavior.)
It all happened so fast I didn’t find out about it until it was already done. Here’s the short version: Someone busted into Timber Joey’s car on Saturday night and stole his match day gear. He posted on Facebook about it, and the story got shared, eventually making it to the eyeballs of a KATU News crew who happened to spot a shifty looking guy wearing the entire collection while lounging on Burnside street. The person of interest said he found it in a bag, and promptly coughed it up to the news crew who returned it to Joey. Notice I didn’t call Timber Joey a “mascot.” That’s because I don’t think of him as a mascot, but instead a standard bearer. He’s the guy who carries our flag into battle. He’s not a mascot. Mascots are animals or guys in furry costumes.
Have you seen the Guardian’s list of top contenders for the 2016 season? The Timbers aren’t on the list, yet somehow Seattle is, and 3 of the remaining 7 teams are the same ones we knocked out of the MLS Cup race last year.
Then there’s MLSsoccer.com’s Supporters Group Guides. They are supposed to be tongue in cheek summaries written in the style of a bird watcher’s book. In the case of the Timbers Army, it offers an uninformed viewpoint at best. It’s a fluff piece, pure filler, and that might have been excusable were it not for the caricature the chose to represent the TA. Nothing against illustrator Elliot Gerard, he probably accepted some random freelance assignment and had no frame of reference other than NFL fans with scarves. MLS makes some goofy marketing/media choices, and this is a prime example of being out of touch with their own fan base. MLS teams as 90210 characters is so much better. On the topic of MLS media, please, don’t get me started on Rachel Bonneta’s replacement. She’s like an actual soccer mom trying to sound like a teenager. Rachel definitely had some ultra corny moments, but Arielle Castillo is the worst.