Keep your eyes peeled for Nicky Buttons. He’s turned a couple graphics I gave him into buttons that he’s giving away for/at the home opener. It’s awesome to see that my 2-stick idea will actually be seen even though I can’t make it to the opener.
Month: February 2016
Idea for a 2 Stick
I had planned on making this a 2-stick for opening day until I realized that I was going to be unable to attend opening day. This was a quick mockup. Yes, it’s a reference to Crew fans throwing beer cans at Rodney Wallace after his goal in the MLS Cup. Yes, it has lost some of it’s appeal now that Rodney is no longer with us. It still would have been a good one. Please feel free to appropriate it if you want. I’ll be watching on ESPN.
Oh Darlington where art thou?
Our deft attacking midfielder was noticeably quiet rounding out the final match in the Simple Invitational against the Chicago Fire last night. Suffice to say I heard Michael Harrington’s name mentioned more often in the play-by-play than Darlington’s. I suppose it happens, maybe this loss will shake off the last remnants of cobwebs.
So I payed a bit more attention to Jermaine Taylor this match, he helped me in this endeavor by earning himself a yellow, and getting caught out leading to a Chicago goal. Our left side is a bit soft and Valentin’s sub out for Jack McInerney was not much of a surprise. Jorge’s shoes look quite big to fill right now.
Valeri was fun to watch, Adi’s hold up play was solid, and Melano Asprilla’s attacks appeared on the point… however, we are running into that old problem of getting it into the back of the net. The season has yet to begin, and the Ides of March approach. I’m not sayin’ things are all Hell and Highwater, I’m just sayin’…
Let’s see, what else… Chara did his Chara thing. Thanks for that Diego.
Mr. Borchers seemed to have a pretty decent game, no real complaints.
Still a bit nervous about our #2, Alvas, thank goodness the man is fast.
All said and done, still feeling pretty good about this season, but let’s sort out that winger situation.
Say Hi to Savannah
Remember the Columbus Crew supporter that flipped Mr Garber the bird while he was talking about the great atmosphere the Nordecke provided for the MLS Cup? Her name is Savannah, and it turns out she didn’t want to be the sad fan poster girl on TV. Someone came up with the brilliant idea to take up a collection and bring her to Portland for the opening day rematch, and it only took about an hour to reach the $1,500 goal. With Merrit reportedly kicking in a couple tickets, and her tweets that she’s on board and stoked, it definitely looks like she’ll be joining us. Because every good deed deserves punishment (and we love drama,) there are those upset that money was raised for a seemingly frivolous purpose when those funds could have been used in so many ways that would benefit more needy causes. That’s a valid point, but sometimes you just have to be… LEGENDARY. More archival tweets and video after the jump.
Credibility / Nostalgia For Sale
RobJ has a USL era Timbers Army scarf for sale on Ebay. Instant credibility (or scorn) can be yours for just $175.
Schedule Wallpaper
Last year I was annoyed that there was no iCal download available of the the Timbers Schedule, so I made my own, but I had no place to share it. This year I’m annoyed because they do offer an iCal download of the schedule, but you have to sell your identity give up an email and a phone number. In the meantime, someone (JohnMLTX) made a nifty, high resolution infographic of the Timbers schedule that serves as desktop wallpaper. If for some reason you’re interested in other teams, they’re also available. When I get around to creating an iCal version of the Timbers schedule I’ll post a link to download it. Just a heads up, I haven’t checked the accuracy of the wallpaper graphic.
UPDATE: Here’s a direct link to a web-based iCal version from MLS. Since it’s web-based you can set iCal to check weekly or daily in case the start times change, as they occasionally do. The downside this calendar is that it’s a subset of the entire MLS schedule which shows the home team first cutting off the name of the visiting team on every home game. You have to click the event to get the complete team name, even with iCal at full screen.
Oh, Canada
There’s an argument going on over at Cascadia Trifecta about whether or not the the Timbers Army rendition of the Canadian national anthem is a serious affront to Canadians and example of typical Ugly American behavior. Most feel like it’s good natured and funny. But hey, your grandpa might still be pissed off at Jimi Hendrix.
The joke’s on us I guess. The Whitecaps pretty much ran the show last night. Granted, we fielded our second team. There was one highlight though; New Whitecap Blas Pérez briefly acknowledged fans heckling him near midfield. I’m not sure why he stooped so low, but he did look a little confused at the time. There were two bright spots, actually. The TA was in much better form last night.
Maestro del soccer
I love awkward auto-translations. Here’s a bit from Perfil, an Argentinian weekend newspaper talking about Diego Valeri’s MLS Cup win and tenure in Portland.
Even those who barely understand a bit of Spanish deduce the magnitude of the term which represents the driver of the Timbers, brand new MLS champions, which gave the first title in four decades to a city that breathes football more than ever.
Here’s a link to the translated version in case you barely understand a bit of Spanish like I do. The image above was reposted on Facebook from a tweet that I can’t track down. If you know whose it is, please let me know. It likely dates sometime between the 1st and 16th of January.
Tonight we square off against the Whitecaps in preseason. I hope Vancouver isn’t as chippy as Minnesota and RSL have been in preseason, or for that matter, the Whitecaps of the 2015 preseason.
– Thanks to Paul Atkinson for the tip.
Some Quick thoughts on the Simple Invitational with Minnesota
That first red card… meh. The second was quite deserved.
Asprilla is looking for another goalazo, of which I have no complaints.
Would have liked to have seen Klute in the LB spot, but good to see Valentin’s play. Definitely going to be interesting to see how that plays out.
Nice seeing Valeri and Nagbe working up front, and Melano seems a bit more settled.
I didn’t really notice anything from our new CB, Taylor, but I’m chalking that up as a positive.
Would have preferred a larger line change at the half given the red cards. It’s a common complaint of Porter that he doesn’t sub early enough, and in this match in particular it would have been nice to see those 75min subs come in earlier and check out their work rate. Especially Jack Mac’s.
All in all I enjoyed the hustle. Just stop fouling the Maestro.
Welcome to Soccer Replay City
Northern Pitch reports that MLS will be testing some instant replay technology during the Simple Invitational. The article offers no information on how it will be implemented, over very little information at all except to says that sources reported the experimentation. A preseason tournament with multiple games in a short time period seems about as good a place as any to test the technology. That being said, I’m against it. Sure, MLS refs aren’t exactly known for their overall excellence. You only have to go back to the 2015 MLS Cup to see some really badly blown calls. Fortunately, there were blown calls made in favor of both teams so we don’t have to worry about adding and asterisk to our first cup win. Even refs in the beloved Premier League occasionally make some horrible mistakes. Since there hasn’t been much talk about how it would actually be implemented, it’s hard to argue either way, but I’m against anything that disrupts the play of the game. And really, it just isn’t needed. Statistically there just isn’t enough games whose outcomes are being affected by the referees. Goal line technology? Yes please. maybe even a 5th official? Sure, why not? Instant replay? No thank you.
Live Soccer Made in Portland
You’re looking at a very mediocre phonecam shot of Caleb Porter at a recent live taping of Soccer Made in Portland podcast, something I listen to religiously, and was excited to go to, even before Porter was announced as a guest. It’s not his first appearance on the podcast, but they are usually recorded remotely. How do not love a coach of MLS Cup winning team taking the time to show up for live taping of a podcast? He hung out and talked with the crowd before and after the show. I had to leave right as the taping ended to receive the babysitter, so I don’t know how long the whole thing lasted. Also present were Thorns coach Mark Parsons and color commentator Ross Smith, both of who were as amiable and accessible as Porter. There were about a hundred people present at the Civic Taproom for the taping, which I fully expected to be packed like sardines, but wasn’t. Apparently some people have other things to do. I ditched my kids at a last minute babysitting situation and couldn’t find anyone to go with me. Do I need this negativity in my life, or do I have a problem? I’m pretty sure my wife is on the cusp of having an intervention for me. Please don’t tell her about this web site. Back to Soccer made in Portland, Chris and Jaimie do a great job on the podcast. It’s a good one for fans of all levels of engagement, not too technical, but still thoughtful, with a nice dose of humor and burritos to fill the void of weather talk since Michael Orr left. If you don’t listen already, give it a shot. Humor me. I’m trying to imagine a scenario where someone is aware of this web site and not aware of Stumptown Footy.
Scooter Club Loves Soccer Club
I’ve seen this Lambretta on the streets of Portland before. They say it belongs to Dave The Cap’n Schwanke of the Lucky Bastard Scooter Club. Does anyone remember the Weaklings MC?
[Photos – Don Tidwell]
Martin Shkreli Would Be Proud
Have you noticed a general resentment towards StubHub bubbling up in regards to clubs allegedly allocating blocks of tickets directly to re-sellers, bypassing fans and essentially artificially raising prices? If that’s not enoughto make you mad, what about private online scalpers? On December 18th, 2015 I saw an ad on Craigslist for a guy selling 2 GA 2016 season tickets for $8,000. These were one season only and did not include perpetual rights to buy them in subsequent seasons. The ad was taken down after a short while. Recently, another douchebag was allegedly asking $25,000 for 2 season tickets plus rights to retain the tickets. The ad is not up there now, and the ticket holder’s account was allegedly flagged for non-renewal by the FO. I have to say allegedly on all this because everything has been deleted and pretty much the only thing that remains are some screen captures that are impossible to verify.
Beer of Champions
In the week after the 2015 MLS Cup, Widmer Brothers Pub had already updated their menus to include “Official Beer of the 2015 MLS Champion Portland Timbers.”
Preseason Friendly? Not so much.
Let's check in on MLS preseason pic.twitter.com/2HAVNxn29A
— Rob Usry (@RobUsry) February 11, 2016
Is RSL going to be our Dallas of 2016? Not to worry, apparently Jack McInerney has our back.
Great Notion Brewing
I checked out Great Notion Brewing last week. GNB took over the Mash Tun near the corner of NE 22nd and Alberta, which is my hood. The assortment of photocopied kids menus includes what can only be described as some sort of Timbers themed pizza, possibly with artichokes. I was able to snap a picture of it, but not before it was assaulted with crayons. Great Notion Brewing actually held a kickstarter campaign to help them “primarily focus on juicy IPA’s and creative sour ales.” That doesn’t sound like a bit in Portlandia at all.
Ikea on the Bandwagon
For the past couple December’s here in Portland, Ikea has set up a tent in Pioneer Square adjacent to the giant Christmas tree. Late last year they were handing out flyers featuring a sale on a green shelving unit “to celebrate the Portland Timbers winning this year’s MLS Championship.” The last time I was at IKEA in November I was bored out of my skull waiting for my wife to stop browsing, so I changed all the LED strips in the lighting section to alternating green and gold units. Everyone probably thought they were set that way for an Oregon Ducks game. Man, was I geeking out.
Review: Cup Bound & Crowned
I can’t imagine I’ll be writing too many of these for this site, but here it is, the first review on PTFZine. (Amended to include clarifications from Prost Amerika)
Cup Bound & Crowned
Cider Press Review, 2016
ISBN: 978-1930781-96-6
By the writers of Prost Amerika
Forward by Timber Jim Serrill
Cover Price: $29.95
Two words I didn’t expect to see in this book: Cocaine and Shit.
One word I had to look up while reading this book: Lugubrious.
Best Inside Training Video Ever
(No really, watch this!)
I particularly enjoy the “off the pitch” variety of official Timber’s videos, the ones where you get to know the personalities of the team a little better. Sure, I religiously watch all the Front Office videos, but let’s face it, Porter never reveals any secret strategies, and they’re usually not relevant after that week’s match is over. They’re mostly just filler to tide you over until the real thing. This video is by far the best behind the scenes practice footage I’ve seen. You get to actually understand how the team practices and see some personality highlighted. I wish it was twice as long. I think Zarek Valentin is trying to make a secret push to become this year’s photobomb contest head on a stick.
Even in Preseason
A win or a loss in preseason pretty much means squat, but any win over Seattle is enjoyable.
RSL Jerseys For Sale In Portland?
These photos were taken about a week after the March 7th, 2015 match against Real Salt Lake in Portland. We dominated Real Salt Lake, yet somehow (Rimando’ed) ended up with a draw. Target usually has a pretty weak selection of Timbers gear, if any, so the appearance of RSL Jerseys in Portland Target stores was a bit of a head scratcher. Notice they went on sale for a heavy discount pretty quickly. Somebody in the NW regional logistics office was either very confused, or a huge Nat Borchers fan. Preseason Timbers VS RSL on February 11th. I wonder if there will be Timbers Jerseys on sale in Salt Lake City.