Heads will roll…

swiws

I made this graphic in 5 minutes on Monday morning as a way to try and lighten the mood a little bit. I posted in the PTFC Patch Patrol, a patch trading group that I spend too much time in. It went over pretty well, and unfortunately, (or fortunately, I’m not sure how I feel about this…) someone asked if they could produce it. After absolving myself, I turned over the vector art and then, off course, ordered some for myself once the project went live. You can get in on it if the ordering isn’t closed. If not, sit back and watch Caleb Porter’s post game comments after our mind-numbing meltdown in Vancouver, which was preceded by a really disappointing draw and exit from CCL competition three days earlier.

crapped-out

[A sobering tweet from the Timbers Army]

Continue reading “Heads will roll…”

Sit down young man, we need to have a serious talk.

rctidui

“Jake, your mom and I are so very disappointed in you. I mean, what would your poor grandmother think? I expect this from Liam, but you just KNOW better. You are not allowed to hang out with Liam anymore. You’re grounded. You go to your job and you come home immediately, no socializing afterwards. I want you to delete his contact from your phone and unfriend him on Facebook. You let your team down, you let your family down, and you let yourself down. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”

[Source: KATU] #RCTIDUI

Continue reading “Sit down young man, we need to have a serious talk.”

Saprissa CCL

Our last CCL match in this round, and we have a really good chance of advancing for the first time. In fact, as I’m writing this (before Colorado away), it may be our best chance of advancing in anything this year. When I volunteered to chaperone an overnight field trip at my kid’s school, I did not check the CCL schedule first. I’m not even going to be in a place with cell phone reception, so don’t spoil it for me. 107ist has a good read on what it’s like to travel to Costa Rica to take in a Timbers match.

pura-vida Pura Vida Away (Unabridged)

Read it: TimbersArmy.org

No Pity, No Mercy

wrestle-no-mercy

WWE wrestlers the Uso Brothers wearing a Mitchell & Ness Timbers cap at a pay-per-view event titled No Mercy 2016. Apparently wrestling is still a thing. If it ain’t George the Animal Steele or Andre the Giant, it ain’t for me. What’s the big deal about Mitchell & Ness? Their Timbers collection looks mostly generic to me.

Source: Timbers.com
Screencap: Chris Burkhardt]

Odds & Sods

I get a little less upset about Valentin not being on the field with most matches that Vitas plays. I still want to see Zarek on the pitch for us, and Vitas may have won the starting position, but it’s still a close fight to see who is the most likable guy.

vytas Andriuskevicius: Scotland fans need to be special to come close to matching Timbers
Read it: Scottish Sun

That time someone spent untold hours knitting a giant beard and Timber’s hat for the face sculpture outside Providence Park.

beardo ‘Beard Bomb’ hits mask sculpture at Timbers stadium
Read it: OregonLive.com

scarf-hoarders The Timbers Army Are Really, Really Crazy About Scarves
Read it: Willamette Week

papercraft Cut out and build your own Papercraft Providence Park
Read it: Timbers.com

Darlington Nagbe, Diego Valeri, and Nat Borchers come in at 11, 12, and 16 respectively in top 20 selling MLS jerseys.

jersey Kei Kamara on list of best-selling MLS jerseys
Read it: The Bent Musket

Animated MLS Goal Highlights

goalsanim

Remember 2015? What a fine year…. Check out Augustus Rachel’s short animation of some of the top goals from the 2015 season. The Timbers make 2 appearances in the video, but one of them is something we’d all like to forget. The screamer from Asprilla will not soon be forgotten. I wish he had worked out his issues and stayed with the team.

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Timbers Tattoo Gallery Up!

tatttoos

I finally got the Timbers and Timbers Army Tattoo gallery and running. It would have been simple enough just to throw up some pages in a category labeled “tattoos” (crap, why didn’t I do that?) but I wanted to make it in the form of a plugin to handle taxonomies in the back end without having to make a custom theme. This in preparation for making a plugin out of the season tracker that you see under the masthead. I’m hoping to package it so other MLS supporters can easily use it to track their own teams without having to know the ins and outs of WordPress and be able to use it on any template. I’ve since become aware of this gallery posted by the Oregonian, which has a lot that I’m missing. That’s OK, the PTFZine Tattoo gallery is a living entity. There are 28 tattoos (Now 40, a short time later) in the gallery, and I hope to keep adding to it, as well as replacing some of the photos that were taken too soon after visiting the Double Post. There will be some interface tweaks as well, definitely room for improvement. There’s also room in every post for stories, the tattoo artist, tattoo parlor, and links to both if you have them. If they aren’t listed now, it’s because you didn’t tell me. Contact me if you have tattoos to add or edits to make. Tell a friend in the TA. Now go check it out.